Using restraints is a method of bondage. Sexual beings have a natural curiosity and fascination towards bondage and the sensations that it arouses. It is a wonderful way for people to explore their sensuality as well as their physical responses to stimulation. The openness of our society towards sexual exploration makes it all the easier to experiment with what’s out there.
There’s something entirely sultry and exciting about handing over control to your partner. It’s a sense of playfulness, teasing really; what’s more, the combination of pleasure and pain can be so enthralling and exciting. The submissive submits, and for that vulnerability and trust that they offer, the ‘dom’ gets to be truly in charge of the sensations that the ‘sub’ gets to experience. There’s a sense of anticipation and eagerness that is arousing for all participants. Restraints can absolutely heighten sexual response; even just seeing someone restrained can be erotic.
What actually qualifies as a restraint? It could be as simple as your sexual partner holding your arms down – or something more, perhaps being tied up, handcuffed or hogtied. Getting tied up with rope seems to be the popular medium in porn movies, but holding down your partner with your own body weight is the easiest and most often re-occurring restraint activity.
Some other items that can be used as restraints include scarves, ankle cuffs, Velcro straps and masks with ball gags – as well as full body harness systems that can deepen penetration.
How about some beginner’s tips? Getting into bondage requires that you be a bit choosier with your partner. Not only should you be worried about being the one tied up, consider the implications of tying someone else up and having them freak-out during the session. Make sure you trust them because you don’t want to be restrained to the point that they can snap all the compromising pictures and videos they want of you: is that the way you want to make your debut on the internet? Therefore, be careful about using restraints with people you don’t know very well. Also, make an agreement with your partner about how far you want to go before you start – and consider the use of safe signals and stop words if one of you has had enough. Start experimenting with things like blindfolding or restraining your bodies with different items.
Especially high on the priority list should be getting some varieties that allow you to easily break out of them. Once you get comfortable with these items, you can allow yourself to focus on the fantasizing – then you can really branch out.
For a more intermediate user, try out some props like your bed posts or bed frame – or even better, take it out of the bedroom altogether. Harnesses and swings are also great ideas. There are inexpensive harness systems that can really add some flavor, while swings are a really fun way to spice up your sex life and add some variety. Why not get dressed up? Bring out your leather, lingerie and boots; it all adds to the sexiness of the occasion.
For the advanced sexual pioneer, we suggest getting creative with ropes, masks or gags. Pick up a climbing or sailing book to get some tips on rope techniques. See if you can do a Full Body Tie Job, a Hogtie, or tie your partner to a chair. Try to do this as safely as you can and make sure you have something to cut it off with if you mess up on your knots.
Using restraints involves creativity, role playing and a variety of props: most of all, it can make the sex – oh – so much more fun. Everyone likes a different degree of bondage and fantasy, so make sure you don’t go beyond your partner’s boundaries. That can create awkward and uncomfortable feelings and could even eliminate your sexual potential altogether, so be patient!